Spotify: Weekly v.08

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“And I want you hold me like I’m the only one”

Last week I admittedly didn’t devote a lot of time to this Spotify playlist. I was sick for a couple of days and wasn’t really listening to music. And by “sick,” I mean my period left me partially bed ridden in pain and then all the kinds of exhausted: mentally, emotionally, physically. Thank god for good nurses.

These were the songs that jumped out at me on Spotify, though. And then I gravitated to some old favourites because they were soothing, like a worn blanket. I hadn’t realized I’d been listening to track one for eight years now. That literally baffles my mind. It’s amazing how some songs come and go—they are there for a moment in your life until they aren’t. And then there are songs that you revisit and stay on your rotations no matter what. “Firetruck” is one of those songs, among hundreds, for me.

“And I’ll just spin and point to find the best path to follow, we’ll never miss an adventure, we won’t”

I ended my week on a major up with a screening of Independence Day: Resurgence, a Gelato Festival, and wandering with Adam. You guys, IDR (ew, that’s gross, how about ID Again) was bananas. I don’t even know how to describe it but there was so much Sexy Jeff Goldblum and Sexy Bill Pullman and Eh He’s Alright Liam Hemsworth and a weird robot ball. And also Dr Okun’s butt. (AND YOU THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD!) And then the gelato. Oh god, so much gelato. Everything was amazing except for the truffle flavour but we should’ve known better because who would want truffle oil flavoured ice cream, gross.

It was also kind of rough too, because of the aforementioned period, particularly in the emotional stress category.

And what I mean by that is I become a raging bitch when I’m on my period. I’m irritable and irrational and short tempered and everything makes me want to cry. One the one hand, I hate downplaying the incredible hormonal changes women go through during their menstrual cycles, because they are significant and we shouldn’t always be tripping over ourselves apologizing. But on the other hand, I hate using it as an excuse to act out. I never think I am but then in the aftermath that I realize I probably would’ve handled myself better were it not for my evil uterus. So could I have prevented it by remembering that? It never seems to work.

“I’ve got nowhere left to dream, so I’ll just stay awake”

Regardless of whether or not my moods are being caused by my evil uterus or not, I can’t completely ignore or disregard  how it affects others around me. I can own my period angst and not apologize for it, but that doesn’t make my actions hurt any less, you know? Fuck, being thoughtful and responsible is hard, guys.

Basically what I’m saying is I should always quarantine myself when I’m on my period, for the sake of those around me. Like in the olden days! Begone, dirty foul woman. Begone!

“If you would be with someone like me, go back to when we both were free, and get along famously”

  • Loïe

    Oh my goodness, I recently took the plunge and quit a job and I could have written this: “And then I rationalized: well, maybe that’s what having a steady, salaried job is like; after years of working short-term contracts, maybe I had no idea what I was getting into. I mean, commuters always look depressed for a reason. Maybe I wasn’t working hard enough. Maybe I needed to stop being a princess and get over myself.” I’m glad you’re happy about your decision. I know I ended up being happy with mine.